Family Formal Photos: Build the List and Keep It Moving

Plan about three minutes per grouping, so a typical list of eight to ten groups takes 25 to 35 minutes. Start each side with its biggest group and let people leave as you go, photograph grandparents and young children early, and give one relative the printed list and the job of calling names.

Family formals are the most scheduled half hour of the day and the easiest to lose. People drift toward cocktail hour, a grandparent needs a chair, and nobody knows whether the cousins are in the third photo or the fifth. My wedding photography shot list covers which groups to include. This guide is about the logistics: the order, the minutes, the helpers and the delicate situations.

What order should family photos go in?

The fastest lists work like a funnel. Each side starts with its largest group, and people step away as their part ends, so nobody is called back after wandering off. Grandparents and small children go early, because standing and waiting are hardest for them. Here is a sample for a couple whose parents, siblings and grandparents are all at the wedding:

1. Everyone together: both immediate families and grandparents, with grandparents seated in front.
2. Couple with Partner A's parents, siblings, siblings' partners and children, and grandparents.
3. Couple with Partner A's grandparents. Grandparents are then free to sit down.
4. Couple with Partner A's parents and siblings. Partners and children are done.
5. Couple with Partner A's parents.
6. Partner A with their parents. Partner A's family is finished.
7. Couple with Partner B's parents, siblings, siblings' partners and children, and grandparents.
8. Couple with Partner B's grandparents.
9. Couple with Partner B's parents and siblings.
10. Couple with Partner B's parents.
11. Partner B with their parents.

Start with whichever side has elderly relatives or young kids, so they finish first. If you want extended family, such as aunts, uncles and cousins, make them one big group at the top of that side's list, then continue the funnel. Keep wedding party photos in their own block; they move faster without families mixed in.

How long do family formal photos take?

Every grouping needs time for people to find their spot, for heights to be arranged so no one is hidden, and for several frames so everyone's eyes are open in at least one. These are the numbers I plan around:

Family situation	Typical groupings	Time to schedule
Small families, everyone close by	5 to 7	15 to 20 minutes
A typical list for both sides	8 to 10	25 to 35 minutes
Large, extended or blended families	12 to 16	40 to 50 minutes

Inside those totals, the couple with two parents takes about two minutes, and a group of 20 on steps takes four or five. Add a minute for any group with toddlers or someone who needs help moving, and hold five minutes of buffer for the one person who went looking for a restroom. Past about ten groups, consider splitting the list across two blocks, which I cover below. My Minnesota wedding day timeline template shows where the block sits in a full day.

Name a family helper and share the list early

Your photographer doesn't know Aunt Linda from Aunt Carol. A helper does. Choose one person from each side who knows everyone by name, isn't in many of the photos and doesn't mind raising their voice. Their job is to call the next group before it's needed, so people wait at the edge of the frame instead of in the drink line.

• Write names, not roles. “Partner A's siblings” becomes “Jake, Maria and her husband Tom, and Sam.” Add the notes a stranger would need: who uses a walker, who is hard of hearing, which parents should not stand side by side.
• Send it about a month ahead, with a final version the week of the wedding. That leaves time for questions and for filling gaps.
• Print three copies: one for your photographer and one for each helper.
• Tell everyone who is on it. A text the week of the wedding saying “You're in family photos right after the ceremony, so please stay up front” saves a lot of searching.
• Give your officiant one closing line. At the end of the ceremony, the officiant can ask everyone in family photos to stay near the front. If you're also planning an unplugged ceremony announcement, put both notes on one card.

If you have a second photographer, they can keep covering cocktail hour or line up the next group while the formals run.

Divorced parents, estrangement and late relatives

These are the groupings that go wrong when they're improvised, so decide them in advance and put the decisions in writing for your photographer.

Divorced or separated parents

The Emily Post Institute's advice on complicated families is to photograph the couple with each parent separately, one at a time, and to consider photos with each parent and their spouse as a way of showing you support their marriages too. In practice:

• Ask each parent privately what they're comfortable with, well before the wedding.
• List them as separate groups, one after the other, so one parent's group finishes and they step away before the other is called.
• If a stepparent belongs in a group, write it on the list rather than leaving your photographer to guess.
• Don't spring a photo of both parents together on anyone. If they both want one, they will say so.

Estranged relatives

If someone attending should not be in a particular photo, tell your photographer privately and leave them off that group. If they belong in one large group only, write that too. A clear list protects everyone from a well-meaning “Let's get one with Dad!” on the day.

Honoring someone who has died

Some families include a framed photo, a parent holding a keepsake, or a quiet portrait of the surviving grandparent with the couple. Choose one grouping for it rather than every grouping. If you use an original print, the Library of Congress advises handling photographs with clean hands, by the edges or their housing, away from food and drink. Leave it in its frame, and have one person carry it and take it back afterward. A copy looks just as good on camera.

Before the ceremony, after it, or split?

This choice decides whether formals feel calm or rushed, and your venue's rules may make it for you.

Before the ceremony

Everyone is fresh and nobody misses cocktail hour, but it works best with a first look and it means family arrives earlier. If you're undecided, my first look or aisle reveal guide covers that choice. Check the rules, too: the Cathedral of Saint Paul's photography guidelines let photographers set up no more than 90 minutes before a wedding and require pre-wedding photography to finish 30 minutes before the ceremony.

After the ceremony

The big advantage is that everyone is already in one place. The risk is hugs, congratulations and relatives drifting toward the bar. Time limits can also be strict: the same guidelines require all photography after the ceremony to finish within 30 minutes, with families posed only on the sanctuary steps. A ten-group list with two missing people can run past that.

Split

For longer lists, I recommend splitting. Photograph each partner with their own immediate family before the ceremony, which works even without a first look, then do only the combined groups afterward. That can shrink the post-ceremony block to 10 or 15 minutes. You can see how the blocks fit around 8-, 10- and 12-hour days in my sample Minneapolis wedding photography timelines.

Light and season

Look for open shade, flat ground and room for your biggest group. On a bright summer afternoon, shade matters more than the view because direct sun makes people squint; my Twin Cities sunset times by month show when softer light arrives. In December, when sunset is around 4:35 PM, formals after a late-afternoon ceremony happen indoors, so choose a room near the ceremony with space for chairs.

Frequently asked questions

How many family formal photos should we plan?

A typical list has eight to ten groupings: a combined photo of both families, then a funnel for each side from the largest group down to parents. Add extended family as one group per side. If your list runs past ten groups, trim combinations that only change one person, or split the list between before and after the ceremony.

Who should help gather family for photos?

Choose one outgoing relative or friend from each side who knows everyone by name and isn't in many of the photos. Give them a printed copy of the list and ask them to call the next group before it's needed. Parents aren't ideal helpers, because they're in most groups and everyone wants to talk to them.

How do we handle divorced parents in family photos?

Photograph the couple with each parent separately, one group after the other, and add each parent with their spouse if that fits your family. Ask each parent privately what they're comfortable with before the wedding, write the decisions on the list, and don't spring a photo of both parents together on anyone during the day.

Should family photos happen before or after the ceremony?

After is simplest because everyone is already there, but it eats into cocktail hour and some churches limit photos afterward. Before works well with a first look. For lists longer than about ten groups, split them: each partner with their own family before the ceremony, then the combined groups afterward in 10 to 15 minutes.

How can we include a loved one who has passed away?

Pick one grouping for it rather than repeating it in every photo. A framed photo held by a parent, a keepsake such as a watch or a piece of jewelry, or a portrait with the surviving grandparent all work well. Leave an original print in its frame, keep drinks away, and ask one person to carry it and return it afterward.

Sources

• Emily Post Institute: Complicated Families: How to Arrange Wedding Pictures
• Cathedral of Saint Paul: Photography Guidelines
• Library of Congress: Care, Handling and Storage of Photographs